I realize that every step parent has struggles with their step children. What I am curious about is how do they have the motivation to keep attempting to build the relationship when you get knocked down, hurt and disrespected so often?
The little one and I have a very rocky relationship. The struggles she has with her emotions and anger contribute a lot to it. I am not one that handles disrespect very well. When a child feels they need to tell me No to a simple direction or causes argument over something so simple and stupid, I get frustrated very quickly and shut off my emotions so I don’t get to the angry step. What I never take the time to realize is that those “simple and stupid things” that we ask her to do may be big things to her. Although it might only take her two seconds to complete, it is more than that to her.
We have so little amount of days where we get along all day. Usually we get along until her father gets home and then she feels she can start disrespecting everyone. I believe it may be that she was never taught as a young child to be respectful and the one person that every little girl will look up to was not around much or gave her much attention or time to even teach her. Her mother never took any initiative to teach her how to act like a proper little girl or how to behave respectfully. Now it has become a struggle because she still doesn’t understand why she needs to be respectful which frustrates me beyond anything.
I want so badly to just have a great relationship with her. I wish I knew the answer of how to make it happen. I see all these other step moms that have great relationships, go to get their nails done and spend time together with all smiles. I’m sure they have rocky times but when I talk to them, it doesn’t seem it. It does make me a little jealous and sad at the same time. Makes me wonder if it is me that has the problem. What I do know is that I love her more than anything and want her to just see me as another parent that can help her, not as a female that she feels is taking her mother’s place.
I am building the goal to have a better relationship each day with her. To see her smile everyday and want to include me in on activities.