This post is written as part of a college assignment for ENG317.
As I had mentioned we have some days that are a difficult. Today has been one of them. As was already planned, today was a cleaning day. The floors need vacuuming and washing, the bathroom needs scrubbing, bed sheets and blankets need washing. When explaining to an 8 year old that after 4 days of being to the pool and to the lake, trying to spend time out of the house and staying cool, today we must clean very difficult. Like many other kids, she is one that absolutely hates the thought of it.
At about 8 am we woke and got started. I put some music on to keep us going. I started cleaning in the bathroom after I started up Helga, our Roomba vacuum cleaner. The little one started in her room. If you can imagine, her room is like many other children’s rooms, items and toys do not have permanent places. Things put anywhere and everywhere. Little papers stashed in corners and hidden in desk drawers. With this it makes it pretty overwhelming for her to get her room cleaned so we give her plenty of time to get it done. When we find she is basically stuck we lend a hand to finish up.
By 10, all of the major cleaning was complete. I decided to lend her a hand in finishing her room. While we got all of the toys, books and other stuff back into their logical place and papers into the trash, it turned into a make over session. She decided to style my hair the way she thought looked best and put makeup on in an interesting way. Allowing this was my time to redeem the day and turn it around. Although it didn’t last long, it was fun.
The fact that I am her father’s fiance and her soon to be bonus/step mom, she still struggles to allow me to have the connection with her that I should. She fears that if we make that connection it will make her mother disappear and make me her mother. Only being 8 years old allows that fear to be reality to her when really that isn’t it at all. We have days where I know she has fun and enjoys crafts and activities but will not admit it and say that she had a terrible time and it wasn’t fun. As hurtful as it is and with it occurring so often, I continue to bring her places and do activities with her. I am determined to make her realize in the future who took the time to give her a great childhood. Although she is not my biological daughter I will not treat her any different than any children of my own that I may have in my future.
Photo From http://quotesgram.com/good-step-mom-quotes/
I have started this blog in an attempt to make people understand that it is okay to be a stay at home mom or want to be a stay at home mom. I have found that I have made this more of a passion to make people understand that being a step parent or a bonus parent is a struggle. It is a learning process and it doesn’t come simply. There are many disappointments that come with it along with many joys. I find that writing about my struggles or joys only helps me learn more about myself.